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63. "Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.". 64. "It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste.". 65. "Sarcasm - the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.". 66. "You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.".


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Funny quotes about enemies. 31. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."—. Oscar Wilde. 32. " The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies.


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13. "Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.". — Cassandra Clare, City of Bones. 14. "Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of.


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Give it your all (within reason) Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood." —Bill Murray. Bill Murray's career as a comedian, writer, and actor has spanned half a century.


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Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown.


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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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Funny Quotes Whether it's a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we're all going through the same stuff in this.


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1. "Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane." 2. "If I had any talent in the world. I would be a great diva." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg 3. "Someday I want to be perfect; until then, I'll be happy.


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"Keep calm and carry a wand." — A.W. Jantha, "Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel" "The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last." — Willy Wonka, "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" "Why do they call.


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Now put it over your mouth.". Anonymous. "Stop complaining about your life. There are people out there dating your ex.". Anonymous. "Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.". "Having children gives your life purpose.


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Tupac Shakur Let's not be narrow, nasty, and negative. T. S. Eliot I got nasty habits; I take tea at three. Mick Jagger Mental health can be nasty but there is light at the end of the tunnel! Kerry Katona Nothing unites a group more than a common enemy, be it the Soviet Union or Nasty Nick from 'Big Brother.' Josh Widdicombe


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Twocanchew! I am not Virgin my life F**K me everyday. I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes. If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping! Why are bra singular and panties plural? Without nipples, boobs would be pointless. It's a dirty way to fight, but I'm late for lunch. I'm a freelance gynecologist.


13+ EyeOpening Funny Nasty Quotes That Will Inspire Your Inner Self

Funny Sarcastic Quotes on Life to Motivate & Laugh Out Loud. 11. "I don't like morning people or mornings or people". 12. "Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.". 13. "Everything happens for a reason… usually, the reason is some idiot.". 14. "Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say & do.


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81. "I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do." - Millie Bobby Brown. 82. "I'm not sarcastic. I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding." 83. "Don't mistake this fake smile and professional body language.


Pin by Julie Mann on My Style Dirty mind quotes, Funny quotes

1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ." 3..


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Funny Nasty Quotes Funny Quotes Nasty Quotes Discover and share Funny Nasty Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.